Networking- a Perspective, Netweaving - a Different Perspective Networking - a Perspective

Much is made of networking and networking groups and rightly so but let me share with you some of my own views on the subject.
Many people think that exchanging business cards is networking. I think not. Certainly it maybe the beginning of a relationship but quality referrals, real connections and workable associations are not created by the exchange of cards but by the relationship created after that first meeting. Trust and understanding are not resident in a small piece of card but in shared time, experience and an exchange of views. These need to be worked at but at a minimum should be follow-up meetings over a coffee or drink and possibly a lunch. The time-honoured virtues of sharing food and drink cannot be overestimated and often determines whether the first blush of friendship/shared interests can be sustained and translated into an ongoing relationship. Obviously we’ve all limited time and one needs to be highly selective about the follow-up meetings or you would never have time for anything else. (Tell me about it!)
Many a networker tries to add people to their network; it’s an acquisitive mindset that is ultimately quite limiting. An alternative “MO” is to try to become part of another’s network. This can be partly achieved by giving value first; this is more of a giving perspective and the result is that you may become part of someone else’s network. The net effect might at first glance seem the same but the substantive difference is that now one has access to your new friend’s entire network rather than that one person just tacking on to yours .
Netweaving - a Different Perspective
As suggested above there is a real case for giving value first. It establishes the fact that one is not just “on the take, on the make” and demonstrates that one has a real interest in the other person. It has the potential, if one was purely cynical, to “bank credit” and to unbalance the ledger. This however is again limiting and lacks goodwill. Whilst there can be positive returns from doing people favours they cannot be guaranteed, they may be well in the future or not at all. Looking for a return sets one up for disappointment and resentment; even with the best intent and will in the world there may not be an opportunity or at least not for some time.
What is joyous though is putting people together for their mutual benefit and not directly yours, beyond a warm fuzzy feeling. Playing broker, exploring connections and bringing disparate people together to potentially achieve the previously unthought-of concept is brilliant. The facilitator can bask in the reflected glory knowing that they have been instrumental in creating something that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. If one is remembered, thanked or rewarded all the better but if not it is good enough to have simply done good.
I suggest reading Geoffrey Gitomer and his "Little Black Book of Connections" on this subject.